Expert Tips: How to Communicate with Your Partner About Delaying Ejaculation

Effective communication is key when addressing the sensitive topic of premature ejaculation (PE) within a relationship. By openly discussing sexual health and performance, both partners can work towards greater satisfaction and the overall health of their relationship. Here are some expert-recommended strategies to facilitate this important dialogue:

Choose the Right Time and Place

Initiate the conversation in a neutral and private setting where you won’t be interrupted or feel rushed. It’s important to avoid bringing up the topic immediately before or after sexual activity, as emotions can run high during these times. Instead, find a calm moment where both partners feel comfortable and open to discussion.

Use “I” Statements

When discussing sensitive subjects like sexual performance, it’s helpful to speak from your own perspective. Use “I” statements to express how you feel and what you’re experiencing, rather than placing blame or making your partner feel responsible. For example, say “I’ve been feeling a bit anxious about my performance and would love to explore some strategies together,” instead of implying that your partner is part of the problem.

Educate Yourselves Together

Research premature ejaculation together to understand its causes, implications, and possible solutions. This approach can demystify the condition, making it a shared challenge rather than a personal flaw. Look up articles, books, or consult a healthcare professional as a couple.

Discuss Possible Solutions

Once you’ve opened up the conversation, discuss potential solutions or techniques that you can try together. These may include the stop-start technique, squeeze technique, or exploring new positions that may help delay ejaculation. Emphasize the importance of teamwork and experimentation in finding what works best for both of you.

Establish a Safe Word or Signal

Create a non-verbal signal or choose a word that means “pause” or “slow down,” which can be used during sexual activity. This ensures that either partner can communicate their need to adjust the pace without breaking the flow of the moment.

Express Love and Reassurance

Reinforce that your desire to address premature ejaculation stems from wanting to enhance your sexual experience together, not from dissatisfaction. Make sure your partner knows they are loved and appreciated, regardless of any sexual challenges you might be facing.

Seek Professional Help Together

If premature ejaculation continues to be a concern, consider seeking the advice of a sex therapist or healthcare provider together. Professional guidance can provide personalized strategies and strengthen your partnership through the process.


Communicating about premature ejaculation requires sensitivity, patience, and understanding. By approaching the subject as a team and focusing on solutions rather than problems, couples can strengthen their relationship and improve their sexual intimacy. Remember, overcoming challenges together can be a powerful way to deepen connection and trust.

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